I despise some things some times...

A'ighty then, I've not written in here in FOR-EVER ...

So, what brings me here? Oh, just something that's tooooo long to be able to write on Twitter.

For those that may be new to this (very rarely updated) blog, or know not much about me or what's been going on in my life.... let's do a break-down.

We start, some time ago as most stories do. This one starts sometime around May or June of 2001. I was in the USMC at the time, and our platoon Sgt that I had at the time decided it would be a good thing to do a short platoon run the day before a battalion hike. He ran us through a neighboring platoon's area, which had loose large rocks. I twisted my ankle in that area unfortunately. I went to the BAS (battalion aid station... AKA: The docs), they claimed I was just lying, and just gave me some Motrin and told that they wouldn't give me a light duty chit (form that would allow me to limit my work load for some number of days), and that I wasn't getting out of the hike. Cut to the next day, the hike was with a 50 pound pack, along with our weapons and Kevlar helmets. Now, back then, I was fighting constantly to be able to maintain a weight of 120. So you're talking I'm having almost half my weight added in on my back, with no support mind you, for a 5 mile hike through the hills of California .. I made it the whole way, no thanks to the fact that our platoon was in the tail, and the whole battalion was doing the caterpillar ... so it was more like a freaking 5 mile run with all that extra weight. Needless to say, I was hurting afterwards. I limped over to the BAS again, where they had to cut the boot-string to get my boot off... my ankle had swollen so much that the knot couldn't be undone. They THEN gave me a light-duty chit for a week.

Week goes by, and while the ankle had gotten better, my back was hurting. I complained about it and they did nothing more than "here's some Motrin, go away"... which unfortunately was standard operating procedure for them. couple weeks later I go to lift one of those 5 gallon water jugs to put it in place of the spent bottle of the water dispenser in my work area. My back proceeds to twitch, and I collapse to the floor, water bottle included, now draining on the ground. I had to be laid up there for like 5-10 min's until I could move again. Went to the BAS again, new person there... first thing they put in the notes was "complaining about chronic back pain". I then get put on a regimen of muscle stimulation and realignment of my back at the hospital... every other day. Third week of that stuff, and the pain level won't go below a 3 or 4 (on that stupid 10 point scale). They send me back to my BAS, wherein an idiot claims that "the problem isn't with your back, it's your tight hamstrings" ... think about that for a bit please. Now, I've not been able to bend straight down to touch my toes since I had my growth spurt back in HIGH SCHOOL ... Also... how the FUCK can hamstrings... which are in the legs ... affect how my lower back feels? And I'm not talking the muscles specifically, yea they were in pain, but the pain that I was mostly feeling was within my back.

So, they give me the options of: Wait the month or so and get out on Honorable Discharge, or start the process to get out on Medical Discharge. For those that don't know, Honorable = able to get jobs really easy if people look at the DD-214 (discharge papers) as reference to military service, while Medical = still kind of easy to get a job 'cause yea military, but it'd get you in the door of the VA (Veteran's Administration) instantly. The other big difference was at that time the Medical Discharge process would have taken 6-7 months. I had had quite enough of getting dicked over on other aspects of the military career, and decided get out the next month on September 8th, 2001 ... please remember that date for further down the line.

So I get out, am traveling back to Florida from California ... no real connection to the world around, just taking time to drive back with my wife and under year old son. Get back to Florida, get started on paperwork to try to get into the VA system to try to get at least noticed about the back issues. It took me a YEAR to get into the VA system, and another almost year to get my first review. Initial review set me at 20% disability rating. Not much of course, but I was diagnosed at that time with "degenerative disc disease". Time goes by, I start getting worse, I complain, get another review after some time of waiting. They up me to 30%, YAY, a cut-off point somewhat. See at 30%, they start compensating for dependents. Which by that time, I've had two more kids (which are all separated by 3 years mind you), so now the system has me as married with 3 dependents. This nets me an astounding .... $500 a month.... that's it...I had gotten to the point of walking around with a cane, and I couldn't stand or sit for too long or my back would start twitching. Cut a bit later, complain some more, finally get another review, they bump me up to 40% ... which only nets $750 a month or thereabouts.

Things start getting worse still with my back (let's just say at this point in this tale, I'm constantly at a pain level of 6-7, so really hard to do much of anything, and some days I can't even move 'cause the back locks up), I contact again to try to get reviewed yet again. I don't get seen officially by anyone, but they pass judgement on my review, claiming that basically seeing as in my records there was nothing stating recently that I've been staying the same, or getting worse, that I MUST be getting better, and they decided to knock me back to 30%. This is the same timeframe that my now ex-wife moves out. So I'm stuck with the mortgage of the house we were sharing, and a decrease in my disability looming on the boarders. I send in their paperwork saying that I dispute the decision, but that gets ignored it seems. I manage to land a job at Sea World, but they don't listen to me when I tell them multiple times (while walking with my cane) that I'm disabled and can't stand for long periods of time. They stick me in the kiddie section of the park, and expect me to bend down repeatedly to do some tasks. Yea, not good. I complain and they send me to my doc with a form for them to fill out for limitations. The doc I had at the time (the VA docs I get are constantly on rotation, I think I've seen a good 2-3 DOZEN different docs at this point) fills out the paperwork stating "no stooping, bending, or climbing; no lifting over 5 pounds; no pushing or pulling anything over 5 pounds; must have change in position (IE: standing, sitting, laying down) every half hour" ... the rotations of the area I was in were 1 hour at a time. I couldn't do anything there in rotation any more by doctor's orders. They couldn't get me a new position and thus was let go.

Now I have no outside income, and I'm trying to pay for a mortgage that is monthly more than what I'm getting in disability ... let alone having anything left over if I could have been paying to pay for power or any other necessary utilities. I start getting paperwork for trying to save the house, re work the mortgage, but the mortgage company obviously didn't want to work with me... I kept sending them paperwork that they requested, and they either kept loosing it, or not acting on it quick enough and I'd have to re-send the paperwork. Needless to say, that house got taken into foreclosure, and I had to move. I moved in with a friend not too terribly far from where I was, and all was swell. While there I asked about getting tested for sleep apnea seeing as I thought I was showing signs of it, and yep, certainly do have it, and probably have had it quite some time. Unfortunately, I met a lovely woman that I am now engaged to, however, where she was living was not that great, and the owner of the house she was renting a room from wouldn't fix things... like the air conditioning for the whole house ... and again, this is Florida ... it's freking HOT. Anyway, she obviously can't move in with me at the friend's house 'cause yea, no room. So, we start applying for income-based housing, some looked promising, but none had any openings for us within the timeframe of needing to move the fiance out of where she was at. Que my parent's option of finding a travel trailer and hooking it up next to their mobile home. Find a trailer, parents buy it, and now I'm living in this travel trailer and paying my parents back for it.

The following February (2014), I still hadn't gotten my review that I requested the year before when they reduced my disability. I went to the VA office, and they saw that I was SUPPOSED to have been seen back in December of 2013, but no appointment was made and it was still awaiting that. I asked to try to get the sleep apnea and also the migraine headaches included in my rating. October 2013 I get a phone call to set up to be reviewed. I ask at that time of the phone call if this was for the review I was supposed to have had November of the previous year? or if this was to include the request back in February to add migraines and sleep apnea. The person stated it was ONLY for the back, and to expect a separate review to add those things. Get to the review, ask AGAIN if the review that was going on was just for the back or to also add the other things, the receptionist states that it was only for the back. Get into the review office with the doc, ask HIM if this was supposed to be adding the apnea and migraines, he states the review is just for my back, and nothing in his stuff says that he should review the sleep apnea or migraines, and I should probably expect a different appointment to add those. Result from that review was that they were putting me back up to 40%. I did get SOME retro-pay for that review, not much, but enough that I was able to actually splurge a little on my kids for Christmas.

Cut to yesterday, I call in the morning to the VA office, have to leave a message 'cause yea they're busy or whatever. I don't get a call back until like a half-hour before they're done for the day. The guy there asks why if I'm concerned about the apnea and migraines being added, why didn't I contest the decision from that review in November? I told him the above about them stating numerous times that the review was ONLY for the back, and I stated that the review results that I got didn't say ANYTHING regarding the apnea or migraines, positive or negative. He states that that review should have included reviewing for the sleep apnea and migraines.

Needless to say, I'm now SUPER pissed. Here I was told by no less than 3 people that the review that happened was only for the back, and to expect a separate review for the other stuff. So here I've been sitting ... since November, thinking my request for a review back in February was still in processing ... but that wasn't the case and never has been the case. So now I've gotta go back down to the VA office, fill out and sign the paperwork stuff to get ANOTHER review attempted to be set up. Here's hoping that this review comes swiftly and they can add the stuff. Basically what I'm being told by some other people, that the sleep apnea should, on it's own, add 30-40% to my rating, while the migraines can be 10-30%... so we're talking a fair chunk of change that I SHOULD have been getting since November of last year... vary it be the nature of things, I don't expect to get retro-pay from all that time seeing as, to them, I didn't complain about it not being included.

So, now, you might ask why I don't go to some of those "Help a Vet" places. Unfortunately I've not found ANY way to get in contact or into the systems for any of the well known ones... Specifically if you wanna hear some more craziness... one of the well known ones... "The Wounded Warrior Project" ? ... yea, they only take people that actively served in the military on or after September 11th 2001 ... remember, I got out 3 days prior! so I can't get in their program. Oh, not to mention there's other not so veteran friendly things, like not allow vets to carry weapons (you know, that right that the military fights for constantly?) to their events, even if they've got the proper licenses and training. 

Anyway, rant over for now. just had to get this shit off my chest 'cause yea... I'm super pissed, so pissed that it actually has affected me being able to relax and play anything.

Speaking of playing, I'm back in FFXIV, and have been having a blast :P I just need to get a new computer and get onto some SSD's so that I can load stuff a bit faster... of course, moving to a place that doesn't have potato-net would improve things as well...Gotta pay off this trailer first then I can start saving up for possible income based housing that the ex-wife got into... perhaps get a real house again, and be able to afford it thanks to it being income based ... also the fact that I'd own the house once it's paid for, not just renting like most other income based places.

Wanna help financially? http://www.gofundme.com/sqf8a46n is something I started up to try to get money to get a new computer